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Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Quick Write


After 5 years she was still on the run. the smoke was around her in the air. the road that she and her brother played on was nothing but old hollow concrete. They would kill her if they had the chance they wanted power. As she walked she heard gunfire so she pick up the pace then she heard more screams then more gunfire so she ran throw the border. She escaped from the war but wasn't out of the blue yet it was there.

I edited so it was longer and it had more description around it.

 

1 comment:

  1. Nice work Kaleb. Only wish I had was that you used better . 2 stars I had were the air about it. It made me think about how the girl must be feeling. The other one was I wanted to read more. It really gripped me, had me hooked like a fish on a line.

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